Those who gather statistics about the occurrence of bullying use conventional questionnaires without asking the names of those involved in bullying. Yet, everybody agrees that we need a device for disclosing the names of the people involved in the bullying, and that the cases discovered have to be dealt with as soon as possible.

The successful findings described below are based on the assumption that disclosure is dependent on the students’ anticipation of the quality of treatment. We use neither peer supporters nor those who tell tales or have concerns that they may get into trouble themselves. We present within the class discussions to teenagers  an approach that improves the victim’s situation without harming or upsetting the bullies. After having gained the students’ trust for our method my collaborators and I distribute a questionnaire that is designed to elicit the names of those involved.

Our approach is adapted according to age differences. For the youngsters (8-10) the main factor is that the person who introduces the questionnaire is liked. Teenagers, however, develop trust from the discussion leader’s reference to the extent to which they feel that the approach to bullying being offered to them can be applied to their situation and succeed. We talk first about procedures the students dislike. We arrive at a consensus about the students’ perception of the inadequacy of other approaches in trying to stop bullying. Then I gradually introduce a new alternative concept – The Shared Concern method, SCm. Their increased levels of confidence in this approach brings about the disclosure of the names of people in their class who they consider “need help”. The important thing now is that we take care of them and honour their trust in accordance with our description of the approach and do it immediately.

I recently condensed the themes that appeared in our discussions into three short statements, each indicating an approach to the management of bullies. To what extent can such a condensed written description replace a dialogue with teenagers remains to be seen.  I will summarize the class discussions from which the questionnaire originated. ……….

Class discussion with teenagers that ended with their revealing the names of the victim(s)
I started by saying:
“I have a problem. Perhaps you can help me? … When I give students a questionnaire that asks: “Have you seen bullying?” or “Have you been bullied?” I get answers that indicate that 10 to 15 per cent of all pupils seem to be bullied. … Rather high figures, aren’t they? Nearly one seventh of a class. … But if I ask them to write on the questionnaire the name of somebody who is being bullied, then nobody writes a name. …  Can you explain this?”
I said the above in a concerned tone of voice, sending the message that we are dealing with a general problem (and not with any bullying that may possibly happen in this class). My attitude towards them was evident: you have expert knowledge in these matters.
The most frequent explanation that I got was: “No one wants to be known as somebody who is bullied.” We agreed that if bullying occurs visibly here-and-now, a teacher must intervene straight away. But if teachers hear about bullying from others problems develop. They start an investigation in order to find and punish the culprits. However, it is impossible to prove (individual) guilt in group bullying.
“But, suppose that they just talk in a friendly way with the bullies eliciting their sympathy with the victim”, I proposed. They explained: “Then the victim gets embarrassed by too much attention. The bullies continue bullying behind the backs of the teachers.” So I asked my audience:
“Can you recommend a better way of dealing with bullying that has been reported to the teachers?” Some students mentioned peer supporters: “They notice more than teachers do”.  But others say: “But they can’t see into every corner.  A person who is bullied would feel embarrassed to go to them and say  “I’m being bullied!’”  Some others said: “Peer supporters bully bullies, sometimes innocent people as well”.
At this point I present my offer: “Suppose we regard bullying as a conflict between two parties … Suppose we do not try to find out who is guilty. Instead of asking “Who started it?” we just aim at a shared solution....  An adult takes the role of a mediator… What does that mean? …. Has any of you had the help of a mediator in a conflict?”. … Yes. What do you think of mediation?… Do you like it? … Why? … I call it the Shared Concern method. Why? … Yes, because a shared concern is a start for a shared solution.”

The above is just a summary of the theme that emerged in a complex and meandering discussion. Interestingly enough no students said that mediation cannot work when one of the parties is weaker (as the victim is when being bullyed).  If students were to bring up this issue I would be prepared to elaborate on the concept of therapeutic mediation aimed at a shared solution. It is delicately implied that the bullies are a bit worried about their own safety in the violent atmosphere in the group.
We elaborate on the mediation procedure. If they tell me some mediation stories from their own experience, then I will go along with these and emphasise the skills of the mediators. Often I relate President Jimmy Carter’s mediation in the Israel-Egypt conflict. (1979)  I say that, when practising mediation, I follow Carter’s example. “First I prepare the leaders of the groups in private individual talks asking them about their ideas for a shared solution. “In that way”, I explain, “I am preparing the summit meeting for a shared resolution.“

Taking the concept of mediation to an international level catches the interest of teenagers in conflict mechanisms. I talk more about escalation and prejudices as conflict-driving mechanisms together with the role of onlookers: When we see other people’s conflicts, we readily believe that one of the parties is more guilty than the other. But our prejudice just increases the escalation. If the onlookers want to help the conflicting parties to peace, they have one only sensible thing to do. What is this? … Yes! To mediate between the antagonists! And do it properly by listening to the views of both parties so that they trust the mediator as a person who wants to help them both.”

When I become aware that the majority of the audience is in favour of mediation, I ask the most important question, the question that the whole discussion has been preparing for: “Would you trust me to be a mediator in your conflicts including bullying?”
The answer my experienced collaborators and I have got from the class has (so far) always been “Yes!”

Immediately after this declaration a questionnaire is distributed to the class.  It begins with the questions that are used in statistical investigations. (“Have you been bullied?” and: “Have you seen others being bullied?”)  But at the end is the line which the whole preceding procedure has been aiming at. It says: “If you think that one of the people in your clas needs help, please write his or her name here: ….

Those, who like myself, have presented the Shared Concern method in class discussions have found that about one quarter of the students write down names. Most often, they write down the name of one person in their class.

If we get names we ask the person identified as the victim "Who would be the people in the class that it would be interesting to talk to?" and follow up with the Shared Concern method. If no names appear, we go to the class again.  We anticipate two alternatives: (1) bullying really does not occur in this class or (2) bullying occurs but they would not reveal it. Sooner or later the class senses the adult’s strong wish to support them and the resulting discussion demonstrates the growth of mutual and friendly relations between the staff and students.

Several former course participants have described SCm in their own publications and many follow its basic ideas in several countries. This home site, http://www.pikas.se/SCm/  provides some information about it. My manuscript for a textbook in English, includes the latest achievements, and techniques. I will send it to English publishers as soon as I can include field experiences about the latest strategies employed by its UK users. If you form a group within your school or organisation and are interested in arrangeing a SCm course, please write to anatol@pikas.se

Further articles in this series:
Approaching youth violence with ACBM –  All in the Class Become Mediators  
Why a competent user of SCm always succeeds

Next page: the questionnaire that evolved from the above discussion

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Name …………………………………………………   Class  .……...


How teachers should deal with bullying?

Imagine that teachers in your school are informed that one of the students Ken (or Kate) is bullied. What should the teachers do? Below you will see three recommendations. Read these through before you fill in your answers.  Please give an explanation for your response to each section after you have indicated your preference under each option heading.

Option 1 :  Punish the bullies immediately and severely!
Teachers interrogate the suspected bully. They ask sternly "Have you been bullying Ken (or Kate)?" … "Don’t deny it!"… "We will call your parents and tell them that you have been bullying!"

What do you think of such a treatment? (Please read through the other options before you answer this question!)

   A. Good! Bullies must be treated severely!
   B. Bad! Often the rumour about bullying is exaggerated or groundless.

I will explain my answer in the following way:  ……………………………………………………………………………
……………………………….…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… ……………………. …………………………………………..
Option 2:  Friendly chats with the bullies.
Teachers tell those who are suspected of bullying: "If you have been bullying Ken (or Kate), please don’t do it anymore.

What do you think of such a treatment?

   A. Good! If we speaks in a friendly way with the bullies, they will stop!
   B. Bad! If we speak in a friendly way to them, they will just continue

I will explain my answer in the following way: ….……………… ……..……………………………………………………. ……..…
……….………………………………………………………………
…… ………………………………………………………………
 
Option 3: Deal with bullying as a conflict that can be resolved by mediating between the two parties
A mediator who is able to listen to the opinion of both sides begins with private talks with the bully suspects. The mediator says in a friendly way: "I have been told that Ken (or Kate) has been bullied. What do you think?" Then the student who is suspected of bullying explains what he thinks in a relaxed mood.
 Often the bully suspects realise that anyone can be bullied by any other in the gang.  If they  were friendlier to Ken (or Kate) the nastiness that is so dangerous for  everybody would diminish.
The mediator then asks: "What should we do?" The mediator makes no suggestions. They  begin to talk about a solution. Usually they find something that later will be discussed with others who are suspected of bullying.   When a solution is found that the probable victim could also accept, a meeting is arranged with the victim and a shared solution is confirmed.

What do you think of conversations that seek a solution instead of scolding or colluding with the bullies?

   A. Good – if there are adults who can have such conversations!
   B. Bad – because ...
(I will explain my answer in the following way: ) …………….…… …..……………………….……………… …………………………………………………………... …
……………………………………………………………….
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Important! We now have  in school a member of staff (the name of  the person inserted here………..) who has been trained in having the types of conversations  described in the third option. If you know a person in your class who is being bullied and you think could be helped in the way described in the third option please  write here his or her name.

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